During our trip to Hawaii, we had several memorable days. However, one day in particular instantly comes to mind when I talk about our trip and that was our paintball day at a US Army base.
The day started perfectly with a barbecue breakfast. I admit that my story could end there, and it would probably be the story of a perfect day. But we pushed the limits.
After an hour of driving through almost the entire island of Oahu, we arrived at the paintball field. Our team consisted of 7 more or less experienced warriors. The morale of the troops was good because JP has already competed in paintball. So we could rely on his talent.
Unpredictable soldier
Max himself was entering his heroic Rambo character. From our point of view, he was entering his character of Hunger Games that would attract attention and end up quickly eliminated with several bruises. The most unpredictable soldier in our battalion was Ariane, General Manager at BBQ Québec. She said she had played paintball once, but we all had the impression that she came to play to please us.
The war was going well. Two of our men had quit early in the game claiming to be wounded – out of pride – Max was doing what he did best, getting shot in the back by teammates, JP and I were blaming the humidity that was fogging up our masks and impairing our vision while knowing that eating eggs, bacon and sausage before working out wasn’t helping our athleticism. Ariane, meanwhile, was crawling on the ground, picking off her enemies one by one.
As a guy getting slightly outdone by a woman, we teased Ariane by saying we were sacrificing ourselves for her or by calling her Rambo.
Time was ticking and the time came when we had to leave. So we decided to play two against two to use up the remaining balls. Ariane teamed up with JP and I teamed up with Max.
Right from the start, JP started peppering us as if we were ordinary beef ribs.
The bullets were whistling
Caught off guard, Max and I had to take cover behind a barricade to return fire. Bullets were flying from all sides and it was starting to feel like we were in Saving Private Ryan .
Luckily, we eventually heard JP swear in the distance, suggesting that we had him taken out. We were about to resume our offensive when Max's cry of pain mixed with a sharp pinch on my shoulder blade.
Our alpha male reflexes took over, commanding our muscles to curl up and our voices to complain that this was cheating. Ariane, out of nowhere, had taken advantage of this to shoot us both at point-blank range.
As loud as our complaints were, nothing could bury the powerful laughter and primitive dance that Ariadne served us. The crowd that witnessed the duel shouted with joy to add to the humiliation of having been beaten by a woman (this immature and childish reaction was fueled by the war game).
Don't underestimate a woman
Funny enough, this paintball game reflected exactly the reality of BBQ. Guys, we took over BBQ like we took over war games. When a girl tries to join the group, we underestimate her and don't make it easy for her.
Still, we would probably all benefit from letting our girlfriends take care of the BBQ. Maybe we could open the circle and let them experience the joys of flame, fire and smoke. What's the worst that can happen? That they'll be good? That one day, they'll make us ribs and the flavor will have the same effect on us as being shot at point-blank range.
I don't know if you're going to try inviting women over for BBQ. However, Max and I know one thing: we'd rather have our BBQ recipes beaten by Ariane than relive the pain of being shot in the back at point-blank range.
Ladies, take your place around the BBQ. We may tease you gently at first, but in the end, we will be very happy to have you on our team.
PS: For those who think this post is fictionalized. Maybe Ariane will allow the video filmed with the GoPro mounted on the barrel of her rifle to be released publicly one day. Until then, take my word for it, her victory dance is really something.